When I was little my pets were my life. Wherever I went they went as well (whether or not it was by choice). When we got our Golden Retriever Bud, he soon became my best friend too as well as my hamster, MC Hamster, the bunny rabbit our neighbors found and gave to us, and every bird I found in the yard that flew into the window. I had dreams and aspirations of having my own animal sanctuary one day, and working at McDonald’s but that is for another story. I wanted to save Every. Single. Animals that came my way.

I once volunteered at a shelter for cats but had to quite because I kept bringing them home because they were sick and needed one on one care but quickly realized that being a single 20-something and having three cats was A) not exactly super attractive and B) well, okay, it was just not very attractive! So, my lovely parents took one of them and he is quite happy (and large) in his forever home with them.

I’m also known for pulling over and ‘rescuing’ stray dogs whenever I come across one. The funny thing is I seem to forget I live in the country. Just because a dog is walking down the side of the road doesn’t mean he is lost or a stray. I learned that the hard way when I called one owner and was met with an unwelcome response.

Overall, I think we can learn a lot from the furry little (and big ones) and they have always held a special place in my heart.

The other day, Wednesday to be exact, it was decided that three of the male lambs were ready to be castrated. Little Money, Joey, and Bubba needed to lose their ‘manhood’ so to speak and D was too busy to do it and that left me.

I’ve read the books, researched online, and D even explained it to me but I guess nothing could really prepare me for what I was about to have to do.

As I walked out to the barn I spotted Joel, D’s cousin, and told him I needed his help to castrate three of the little guys. He mumbled something about ‘wow, that sounds likefun’ in a sarcastic tone. Ignoring whatever he said and totally lost in my own thoughts of convincing myself that I am a farm girl, I told myself it’s the law of the land. Toughen up or get out, right? It’s either this or having five angry rams trying to kill each other and mating with every girl along the way.

I walk into the office to grab the Elastrator which is kind of like the terminator but instead it’s for um, well, you know. I grab the devise, the little green plastic bands, and the jar of iodine to dip the bands in and proceed into the pen where the sweet, unassuming little guys slept.  They perk up when they see me and my heart aches for what I am about to do.

I walk over to Money, sighing out a long breath, pick him up and hold him for a minute.

“Sorry little buddy. You are my favorite and I’m afraid this may change your opinion of me but please know that I have no choice. It’s either this or the butcher and the latter just isn’t a choice in the matter.”

I decided to grab Joey and his brother Bubba after I take care of Money because first of all, those two are next to impossible to catch, and I just wasn’t ready to have them running around under my feet in the pen while I’m concentrating on taking Money’s ‘stuff’ into my own hands (no pun intended here).

I hand Money over to Joel and show him how he needs to hold him which I remember while holding Roger while D castrated him a week prior.

Now here is the thing. The early you do this the better. I mean, it makes sense and all. The problem is, you really don’t have a say in when the little guys drop their manhood’s. Yep, you read that right. There little berries need to drop from someplace up high, like their brain or something. Roger’s dropped pretty quick but Money, Joey, and Bubba, well it was still questionable whether they both were there or not. And yes, of course there is only one way to check and if you saw my facebook post from last week you’d put two and two together and realize THAT was why I was peed on by Money.

So here we are, Joel is holding Money with one arm under his bum and the other securely around his belly. Oh yeah, by the way, have you ever heard a lamb cry? Well, it’s one of the most heart breaking things you can hear. It’s a completely distressed, high pitched scream and it makes your heart break into a thousand little pieces. But Money is just that. He is Money, 100 % awesomeness and if he cries you know something is wrong. He is one of the most chilled out lambs in our flock. He and his sister never run from us but TO us and they are our special little ones.

So here I am, elastrator in hand, I pick up a green band, place it around the four prongs on the device and dip it in the jar of iodine. I take a deep, desperate breath as if grasping for just a little bit more courage and strength, and grab the handle of the device to open the green band as wide as it can go. I approach Money’s um, things, and put the band around them trying to make sure both are there. He doesn’t do much at this point and I breath a sign of relief and think to myself, “see, you can do this Amanda!”

Then I close the band around his bits and he squirms and lets out a shriek that would break even the most cold-hearted of hearts. I begin to panic as I can’t get the band off from the device. I try to remind myself to breath and that we have to do this and he will only feel pain for 30 minutes or so. After a good minute of struggle I finally get the device unlatched from the band and feel that both are securely in there.  All seems well and I grab Money in my arms and rock him for a minute cooing in his ear, promising that I will never hurt him like that again.

I place him on the ground and he immediately lays down, then trying to stand he can’t and falls back down. Oh great, I’ve done something wrong! I lift him to his feet and feel underneath and low and behold, one of those little guys is nowhere to be found and I begin to lose it. $%*@ – %&* $ – #@%$ is all I can think and I tell Joel I need to run and get David trying desperately to hold back the tears.

As I run from the barn there was no holding back. It was a sea of  liquid rolling down my face and all I could think of was how I just mutilated this poor little lamb. I run across the lawn cursing myself and D’s schedule and burst through the door. I turn the corner into the office and D sees my face and starts questioning me with worry in his voice. It takes me a minute before I can explain what happened.

“I, I, I only got ONE!!!” I cried out

“Okay”

“God, I’ve mutilated him!” I scream in my normal dramatic fashion

(I’m sobbing uncontrollably at this point)

“Babe, come on, let’s go see”

He grabs his scissors and me and we head back out. D consoled me on the way back  and I was able to reel it in by the time we turned the corner into the barn.

Money was just lying there not doing much and D picks him up and well, there was only one in there. D hands him to Joel and proceeds to cut the band off which seemed painful in itself and I quickly backed up and into the other pen and made up the excuse that I was going to get the other two. Once they got the band off we decided that Money deserved a little break and true to his nature, he was off bouncing around and smelling the butt of one of the other lambs and forgot all about it in no time.

I rounded up Joey and Bubba and from a distance (and because D insisted) I watched as D castrated all three in a matter of no time. All bits and pieces accounted for.

We released them back into the big pen with their moms and all three immediately laid down and for the next hour shifted back and forth trying to fight off the discomfort that comes with having your berries put into an elastic band.

All three have fully recovered and are back to their normal selves. Me on the other hand, I’m not sure I ever will.

And I wonder, will I ever be a real Shepard?

Here is Money on day three: